So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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