its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
