This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
