He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Randomize
