Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
