I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
