and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
