i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
