pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
