I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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