I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
