You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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