LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
