he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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