he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize