Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
