Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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