I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
