You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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