Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
