I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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