u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
