Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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