I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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