OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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