As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
