i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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