her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
