so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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