dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
