my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
