Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
