my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
