so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
