I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
