We're facebook friends in real life
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
