Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
