I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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