its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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