is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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