I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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