so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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