I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
