enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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