evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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