Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
