I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
