girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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