It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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