..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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