just tell him i said nine months
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
