It's chlamydia! Thank God!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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