i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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