That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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