no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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