What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
