Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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