Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
