Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
