I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
