oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
this hospital has no fireball
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
