I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize